


The Uphill Battle

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, My First Fanfic, POV Third Person Limited, Reunions, boys do cry, long lost bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 02:16:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1671014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A week after Bucky last confronted Steve, he decides to meet him face-to-face at Steve's apartment to find out who he really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Uphill Battle

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've ever written, so please enjoy the labour of my tears and CA:TWS feels (and feel free to point out any tips or errors)!
> 
> I'm just dying of the suspense of how Steve and Bucky's reunion will play out 2 years from now, and this was just ONE of the ways I pictured it n_n

_Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out._

Beads of sweat were racing down the nape of Bucky's neck as he slowly ascended the last flight of stairs to Steve's apartment. His chest pounded harder and harder with every step he took. 

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I can do this! I need to do this!_

It had been a week since their last confrontation, when Bucky had to drag Steve's unconscious body out of the Potomac after SHIELD's Helicarriers went down. He had to. He just had to save that man's life. The only life he remembers saving in his whole career as the Winter Soldier. His whole world had turned upside down after the fight on the bridge. The name Steve had called him by rang in his head everyday since the fight, even when his last wipe almost deprived him of his ability to perform basic functions. Steve's soft, confused voice just repeated _"Bucky?"_  , over and over in his head, and he couldn't take it anymore. Today was the day Bucky would face Steve and find the answers he needed to know.  

_I swear to God this shield is a fucking brick. It'd be easier to carry a damn car up these stairs._

Bucky had made a point to fish out Steve's shield from the river before seeking him out. The shield was Steve's only weapon/defense during their fight on the Helicarrier, and Steve just threw it away like a piece of scrap paper to prove that he didn't want to fight Bucky, that he wasn't afraid of what Bucky could do to him even when he knew Bucky could have killed him where he stood. Something in Bucky just stopped him whenever he could have just squeezed out the life from Steve's throat or made his aim shaky whenever he could have gone for a clear kill shot, and Steve knew it too. Bucky desperately needed to know how in his over 50 years of service to HYDRA Steve was able to emotionally compromise him and how Steve even _knew_ him.

When Bucky finally stood several feet in front of the door to Steve's apartment he checked his appearance one last time. He had polished the shield until it was shiny, found lightly worn civilian clothing (to show he didn't come as a threat), shaved the rough stubble off (which reveal the smoothness of his pale face), and tied his hair back so he could have a clear view of Steve when they would begin talking. Or, at least he _would_ have a clear view of Steve if he could muster the courage to lift his eyes from the doormat. A mix of shame, fear, and insecurity flooded his thoughts before he could focus on the task at hand.

_What will he do? What will I do?  What should I do? What if HYDRA still needs me to kill him? I can't hurt him, he's the only person who has ever tried to avoid hurting me._

Steve was his mission. Steve was the last mission he was given before HYDRA was taken down. But this was a mission Bucky knew he would never complete. For all the memories Bucky could scrape together and all the stories from the Smithsonian exhibit he visited he saw that Steve Rogers was the best man and most compassionate person he has ever known, in his past life and his current one. Now, Bucky's only mission (that he forced onto himself) is to find out who the hell "Bucky" really is, and Steve was the only person Bucky knew he could trust to turn to.       

He swallowed the lump in his throat, lifted his eyes from the ground, and gave a few, gentle knocks on the door.  

"Here goes nothing," Bucky quietly mutters with a faint hint of dejection in his voice.  

He clutched the shield closer to his body to create a barrier between himself and Steve as soon as the door opens. When Steve's standing in the threshold, Bucky quickly scans him out of habit before looking at the ground again. Steve, with his golden hair smoothed back, wearing a casual button up shirt with brown pants, has a short, sharp intake of breath before his mind starts racing, trying to think of what to say.

"I-, you-, Bucky I-"

Steve's shining blue eyes are wide and awe struck while he's still at a loss for words. Bucky then realizes that his mouth has been gaping open as his breathing is steadily increasing with the tension outside of Steve's apartment. Steve lets out a big sigh as he gently puts a hand on Bucky's right shoulder to get his attention and simply says, "Bucky, I'm so glad to see you", and gives him the brightest smile Bucky has ever seen.

"Steve..."

Bucky feels himself melt under the warmth of Steve's smile and savors how naturally his name rolls off Bucky's tongue. His eyes begin forming tears before he can continue with what he needs to say and he drops the shield as he attempts to wipe away the streams rolling down his cheeks. Bucky's embarrassment at being a grown man who cried in front of another grown man is nothing compared to how happy he feels.

 _I'm so glad to see you too Steve._   _I can't even believe it. . ._

Bucky is crying and sniffling too much to show Steve how overwhelmingly ecstatic he is other than by flashing him the thin, but genuine smile playing on his lips. Suddenly, Steve's arms are wrapped around him in a gentle embrace to comfort Bucky. Bucky even feels Steve's own hot tears lightly soaking into his thin cotton T-shirt. With his arms laying useless at his sides, Bucky's breathing calms down to a normal pace before he is finally able to utter, "Punk. I missed you."

 "Jerk, don't worry. I've got you now. Please, come inside. Stay with me."

They both pull away from their embrace to look at each other eye to eye, shy smiles broadening on their lips before Bucky scoops Steve's shield off the ground and passes it to him.              

"How can I not worry when you brought all the stupid with you?" Bucky jokingly says, wiping away the last traces of tears as Steve lightly grabs his hand and leads him inside to the living room. However, the relief is clear to see in Bucky as he closes his eyes and reclines on Steve's sofa, he becomes more relaxed and ready for the future ahead.

 _Steve, thank you so much for being here. I still can't remember everything, but I know I'm home now. I've finally found my way back home..._      

 


End file.
